RE: Future me

Dear Past me,

I know you're gone now, but I still wanted to acknowledge your email and answer the questions you had for me.

First off, thank you for setting the email to be sent after [edited] years instead of [edited]. I wouldn't have been ready for it a year earlier.

For your first question, I did get a whatever job. Worked at Barnes & Noble end of 2008. But it was only for a couple weeks.

Your second question..did I stick to my guns...Well, I did and I didn't. I didn't really change who I am, so in that sense, I did stick to my guns. But on the other hand, my arbitrary belief system was keeping me from my needs. So I did change my priorities. I stopped holding myself and others to impossible standards. And I'm no longer apologetic for being human, nor do I condemn others for the same.

Next, um, no. I'm not any more able to write to her than you were. Time still doesn't matter to me, but I do see that timing does. Because of that, I don't wait for all the stars to align anymore. But time and timing have little to do with why I can't talk with her. It's more cause and effect.

And to answer about the Psychology of Regret thing (I could have mentioned this when answering your second question), yeah, that is one of the things I changed. Since I'd always regretted what I didn't do, I decided to try regretting what I did do. Only, funny thing is, I haven't regretted anything I've done. My new actions and old tendencies cancelled each other out.

My blog...well, I haven't blogged in a long time. I had a lot to say for Season 5, but somehow couldn't say it. And a whole year passed. Actually, if I hadn't found your email when I was cleaning out my inbox last night, I probably wouldn't have started Season 6. So, I'll try to keep writing.

Do I think? Yes, I still think. I know what you mean when you say "think less". I wouldn't say I think less. I would say I think differently. But it has the same effect you were hoping for.

Yes, things are different for me... and yet the same. But that's ok. Yes, I like where I am, though it is maddening sometimes. Yes, I found something meaningful...serendipitously.

Anyway, I guess that answers your questions. So I guess I'll close.

- Future you

P.S. - I miss you. And I wish you hadn't decided to delete Seasons 1 and 2. Although if you hadn't, maybe the subsequent seasons wouldn't exist.