RE: Future me

Dear Past me,

I know you're gone now, but I still wanted to acknowledge your email and answer the questions you had for me.

First off, thank you for setting the email to be sent after [edited] years instead of [edited]. I wouldn't have been ready for it a year earlier.

For your first question, I did get a whatever job. Worked at Barnes & Noble end of 2008. But it was only for a couple weeks.

Your second question..did I stick to my guns...Well, I did and I didn't. I didn't really change who I am, so in that sense, I did stick to my guns. But on the other hand, my arbitrary belief system was keeping me from my needs. So I did change my priorities. I stopped holding myself and others to impossible standards. And I'm no longer apologetic for being human, nor do I condemn others for the same.

Next, um, no. I'm not any more able to write to her than you were. Time still doesn't matter to me, but I do see that timing does. Because of that, I don't wait for all the stars to align anymore. But time and timing have little to do with why I can't talk with her. It's more cause and effect.

And to answer about the Psychology of Regret thing (I could have mentioned this when answering your second question), yeah, that is one of the things I changed. Since I'd always regretted what I didn't do, I decided to try regretting what I did do. Only, funny thing is, I haven't regretted anything I've done. My new actions and old tendencies cancelled each other out.

My blog...well, I haven't blogged in a long time. I had a lot to say for Season 5, but somehow couldn't say it. And a whole year passed. Actually, if I hadn't found your email when I was cleaning out my inbox last night, I probably wouldn't have started Season 6. So, I'll try to keep writing.

Do I think? Yes, I still think. I know what you mean when you say "think less". I wouldn't say I think less. I would say I think differently. But it has the same effect you were hoping for.

Yes, things are different for me... and yet the same. But that's ok. Yes, I like where I am, though it is maddening sometimes. Yes, I found something meaningful...serendipitously.

Anyway, I guess that answers your questions. So I guess I'll close.

- Future you

P.S. - I miss you. And I wish you hadn't decided to delete Seasons 1 and 2. Although if you hadn't, maybe the subsequent seasons wouldn't exist.

Future me

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on Tuesday, July 31, 20**, and sent via FutureMe.org
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Dear Future me,

I am now in [city] and pretty upset. It's been about three months since I left [edited] and I'm still depressed about [edited]. That and I don't have a job yet, besides teaching the ICC students. I have some prospects, but eventually, I may just need to get a whatever job. Is that what you did? Well, I guess I'll know soon enough.

I'm just wondering, did you decide to stick with your guns and stay the way you were (the way I am now)? Or did you finally do something different? I am under a lot of pressure from my needs. I'm just wondering if I'll be happy giving in to what others think I should do. Do you know better than me?

My thinking is, if you are thinking of [edited], maybe you should write to her to see how she's doing. If I haven't written to her by the time you get this, please write to her. It seems like a bad idea for me to contact her. But maybe it'd be ok if you did. Time may not matter much to us (or at least to me), but it does things for other people.

Or have you decided it's best to move on and leave the past alone? I don't know. I just don't like the way things were left. Do you think I should have done something differently? Remember that article you put in your blog? The Psychology of Regret? I just wondered if you see things differently now. I suppose it doesn't matter. It's over and done with now.

Do you still blog? I'm most of the way through Season 2. I've thought of quitting, but I seem to have momentum.

Do you think as much as I do? Probably. I doubt you and I are much different in that respect. But I hope you think a little less. I hope things are different for you than they are for me. Do you like where you are in life now? Have you found anything meaningful?

I'm sure I'll think of more things to write later, but I think I'll just leave it at this.

I'd ask you to write back, but I'll be gone by the time you read this. So, um...hope you're doing well.

- Past you